Never Seems Enough
by Nicole Lo
Summary: ... having someone to pick you up when everyone else is kicking you down. Two girls from completely different backgrounds and cliques realize that they have more in common than they thought while dealing with vicious rumors, broken families, ruined reputa
1. She Hates Me

Never Seems Enough

By: Nicole Lopez

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or its characters, but this story is mine and so is the idea.

Summary: This is a story about the value of friendship and having someone to pick you up when everyone else is kicking you down. Two girls from completely different backgrounds and cliques realize that they have more in common than they thought while dealing with vicious rumors, broken families, ruined reputations, and life's numerous shortcomings.

**Author's Note: Jimmy did get shot, but he didn't end up in a wheelchair. **

Chapter One: She Hates Me

Hazel

I had thought long and hard about the journey that I was about to make to the point that I was having a splitting headache. But, I still felt torn about it, whether or not to take my relationship with Jimmy to a new level. To everyone else, we seem perfect; we depend on each other and we tell each other everything. I know things about him that his parents don't even know, vice versa.

It wasn't like it was a big deal or anything. Well, it was, but in my mind we were already married. We have been "engaged" for about a month now, and it was our senior year in high school. The only thing that was stopping them from having a formal wedding was our age. Both of us are 17 and my parents would never agree to me marrying Jimmy. They didn't even know how serious our relationship was.

And for some reason, I couldn't shake the feeling that _loving _him and _not _being equally emotionally, mentally, and physically intimate. It just didn't seem right. I knew that Jimmy would never admit it, but he wanted more too … I could sense it and ultimately, I knew that I was the one holding the cards because I had the most to lose. As I walked out of the front door of my house, I told my parents that I was spending the night at Paige's which I completely planned to do.

Completely covered with my Hijab, I knew they weren't going to question my intentions. They never did and I was beginning to wonder whether they even cared as long as I kept up my 'good girl' image and didn't disgrace the family. As I got into the car, I rushed to Paige's house to change. Jimmy was going to meet me there and I only had an hour to get ready before … my life would change forever. I was both excited and nervous at the same time.

As Paige flipped my hair upwards, I began to feel jittery. What if I couldn't do this? What if I just had a break-down in front of Jimmy or got all emotional about it—that would be so humiliating. While taking in deep breaths, Paige said, "You look gorgeous."

"I'm sorry you can't go." I apologized. Everyone was going to be at our school's big fall formal and Paige was grounded.

"Yeah, well at least my parents don't know about who I'm dating." She whispered. "If I can get them out of the house for a few, I'll be able to call him. It wouldn't want to go to the formal if I couldn't have him there anyway."

"Yeah." I nodded, taking one last look at myself. The royal blue dress Paige and I picked out was perfect. It was strapless with a low back that stopped an inch above my hip bones and the bottom fanned out like a mermaid tail. The bell rang.

"That must be him." Paige smiled, excitedly as if her boyfriend was at the door instead of mine.

"I'll get it." I rushed to the door, breathless as soon as I opened it. It was Jimmy and he looked … faultless. Instantly all of my worries and fears about what was going to happen tonight disappeared. I had him, my 'fiancé' and he was all I needed.

Manuela aka Alicia

"It's not that I don't want to be with you…" I began as Spinner continued kissing me. Lately, I was beginning to feel like all he wanted to do was sleep with me. "It's just that this is a new year and I want to start it off right." I sighed, resting my hands on his shoulders.

"Why should we break up Manny? You're finally back and--"

"It's over." I repeated, not wanting to think about the two years of my life I had lost while being in foster care. Luckily, I ended up back here, but everything that was once good was starting to look sour again.

"Come on Manny. Don't be that way." Spinner kissed me again.

"No. No!" I yelled, pushing him off. "Leave me alone." Jumping out of the limo, I walked into the Degrassi High School's fall formal. It was the first time people had seen me since … Paige and I got into that huge fight and I wanted to make a good impression. Alone.

Looking for a familiar face, I walked all around the gym wishing that someone would say something to me, even acknowledge that I was there, but no one did. It was always the same. I was just some slut with a diva attitude to them.

"Manny, is that you?" Liberty van Zant asked all-of-a-sudden, while holding onto JT tighter as I turned around. Like I wanted him anyway.

"Yeah. But, it's Alicia now. Good to see you." I hugged her, feeling like our reunion was less-than-genuine. "I couldn't stay away from here."

"Yeah. I heard that your mother was dealing with schizophrenia and your father left." She blurted out without any regards to my feelings. Looking away from JT, I searched for the right words.

"I'm sorry about that." JT spoke up, looking as though he wanted to console me right then and there, but we both knew that Liberty would have a fit, and everyone would misconstrue it.

"Who cares about the past? We make our own destiny's right?" I replied, trying to change the atmosphere into something more light-hearted, but all I was aware of was the developing tears in my eyes. "And it was my step-father." I corrected as Liberty shrugged, pulling JT along with her.

God, I need a drink, I thought with a sigh covering my eyes with my hands. Maybe being solo at the thing wasn't such a good idea. Trying to find something to do, to occupy my time and hide the fact that I was completely alone, I walked over to the punch bowl and grabbed a cup. Taking a sip, I turned around only to be face to face with the one person I never thought I'd see in a thousand years.

"Hi." I greeted him, biting my lip and taking another sip of the punch. It tasted like someone had spiked it. Good.

"Manny. I didn't expect to see you--"

"It's Alicia. Or La la. Whatever …" I began to babble. If you had seen the way he was looking at me, you would've done the same. "You look real good." I complimented him, taking another sip of the punch. It was getting better and better with each taste.

"Why are you here—you don't mind me asking?"

"Of course not." I tucked my hair behind my ear. "Umm … this is really hard for me to say … and I don't think it's the place." I motioned towards the door. I always processed things better when walking around or without a huge crowd surrounding me.

"Do you think--"

"Look, I'm not interested in you anymore Craig. That was two years ago." I explained as we walked out into the hallway.

Jimmy

"I love you." Hazel admitted to me as we walked back into my house. She said she was a little tired, so we left the dance a little early.

"Do you want me to take you back to Paige's house?" I wondered, since that was what she usually did.

"No." She paused, being quiet which was completely unlike her. "I want to show you how much I love you." Hazel began, kissing me suddenly.

"Okay." I laughed, confused.

"I don't care what anyone says or thinks." She continued, as her one kissed turned into a make-out session. "I want to make love to you."

Craig

"So, what do you want to know?" Ma—I mean Alicia asked me, looking more lost than I had ever seen her before.

"Why did you leave without … saying goodbye."

"Like you even cared back then. No one wants to hear the real story." She began, clinging onto her punch for dear life. "But the truth is … I just needed to get away from Degrassi. With my step-father and mother separating, everything was getting crazy. It was just better for me." Alicia continued looking as though she was holding back something.

"Anything else?"

"Are you still with Ashley?" She smiled. "I mean, that's the real question. Did you keep your promise to her? Are you making music with her now?" She added, looking at me desperately, like my sister Angie did when she really wanted something.

"Yes, of course. I love Ash." I explained as she nodded.

"That's what I thought." Alicia shrugged.

"So, what's with the name change?" I wondered.

"It's my middle name. Alicia. It just fits better for who I am now. I don't want to be known as some immature kid who sleeps around and is called Manny. That's not what I'm about." She declared as I held back my longing to find out how she really felt about me. It was always good to know and … I didn't want there to be any gray area. She and I shared something that no one else could take away. She was the girl I had lost my virginity to.

"That's good." I nodded, a little out of it still looking at her.

"Go ahead and ask." Alicia smiled.

"Ask what?"

"If I'm in love with you." We both looked away at the same time. "Because you know I am. My feelings haven't changed, but then again we don't need this, right?" Alicia tried to preserve her feelings. "I'm glad you found Ash."

"And I'm glad you're with Spinner." I retorted.

"Oh, I'm not. But that's okay. It's cool you know? It's cool." Alicia aka Manny and I headed back to the gym as everyone stopped and stared at us.

"Craig, honey, where have you been?" Ashley asked accusingly.

"We were just talking." Alicia stepped in, trying to make the situation better.

"I'm not talking to you slut." Ashley paused, trying to stop her anger. "What were you doing with her? I thought you loved me." Ashley completely over-reacting, brushing past me as I looked at Alicia apologetically.

"You know what you have to do." I took in a deep breath before running after Ashley. I hated how it was always like that. I couldn't even talk to one without the other hating me and Man—Alicia didn't deserve to be hated like that. Not when she hadn't done anything wrong.

Hazel

I woke up the next morning completely confused. Somehow, I had ended up at Paige's house, but rather than feeling the gratification and happiness I was seeking, I felt weird. Astranged. Almost used. "Wake up sleepy head." Paige came back into her room as I sat up slowly. "So, how was last night? Give me all the details."

"I- I …" I began, but was unable to finish.

"Oh, it's okay. You're probably just overwhelmed, but whatever it is, I know that you and Jimmy can make it." Paige reassured me.

"Sure." I mumbled, feeling achy all over. This was not what I had expected at all, and I was having an urge to … forget what happened last night rather than remember it. "You're driving me to school?" Paige nodded as I headed for the shower to clear my head.

Jimmy

"I know what you were doing last night." Craig teased as we walked through Degrassi High.

"Whatever man. Hazel's got morals." I explained, trying to protect her image.

"But you and her alone in your parent's pad? Come on dude. Something must've happened. Give me the details." Craig demanded as I shrugged it off.

"I'm not saying anything happened or didn't happened." We stopped at my locker as Hazel walked by, without even looking at me.

"Just tell me." Craig pressed.

"All right. All right." I gave in. "Maybe something happened but … this stays here. I don't want anyone else to know that Hazel and I had sex last night." I told him.

"Well, well, well. Looks like little Miss Goody Two-Shoes has a baaaaddd side." Heather stepped in, smiling.

"What are you talking about?"

"I heard everything." Heather stalked off before I could catch her.

Hazel

"He told everyone." I cried to Paige, who was the only one that seemed to be on my side. "I thought it meant something, but he's out there bragging just like every other guy."

"Come on Haze. It came from Heather Sinclair. Who's going to believe it?"

"Apparently everyone." I sighed. "And now I can't ever show my face again."

"Come on hon. Stop being dramatic." Paige begged. "It's not like you and Jimmy actually did anything." I paused, looking away from her. "Oh my God. Hazel. How could you?"

"What?" I looked up, surprised that she wasn't supporting me here.

"This is going to completely ruin everything we stand for." I backed away from Paige.

"I don't even _know _you anymore." I spat out, more hurt than anything.

"Good. I don't need a _slut_ riding my coattails anymore." Paige brushed past me and out of the bathroom. A few minutes later, I followed. I couldn't afford to miss this Calculus class I was going to.

"Hazel. Hazel I …" Jimmy tried to explain, apparently waiting outside of the bathroom door for me.

"Save it." I tried to conceal my tears. He had no idea what I had been through today. The humiliation … the things that all the guys had been saying to me as I walked through the hallway. I had never felt so cheap and trashy in my entire life.

Jimmy

"Please listen." I begged, holding onto Hazel's hand gently.

"No. Don't touch me!" She yelled angrily. I knew that there was nothing that I could do to explain myself. I _had _told someone even though we swore not to and … it had ruined her and possibly our relationship in the process.

"Hey dude." Craig found me in the hallway as I sat on the ground, defeated. "Look, I'm sorry …"

"No. It was my fault." I sighed. "She hates me." I admitted. "She fucking hates me." I banged my fist against the wall, furious.

(A/N: This story is more about friendship than anything else because I always focus things on being in love, but the truth in that strong support-friends or family—are what help get people through the tough times. Like when your heart is broken or when everything in your life is crumbling … that's why I had to at least start writing this story. And, I changed Manny's name to Alicia because Manny seems so ugly and tainted. I wanted to start off with no preconceptions of her in mind without creating a new character. So I hope you review and … can anyone tell me what "hits" on mean? –NL)


	2. I Heard that You’ve Been Talking

Chapter Two: I Heard that You've Been Talking

Manny aka Alicia

Walking out of the school was worse than walking into it. Everyone was staring at me and one of the girls had purposely thrown punch on my dress. But that was last night and … this was going to be my first day back at school. I was officially a Degrassi student again, which was both exciting and scary at the same time. All I needed to do was find someone who didn't _hate _me to talk to.

"Craig." I rushed to walk in step with him as soon as I saw him. Luckily, Ashley was no where near him because I knew she would freak out again. "Hey," I repeated, noticing that he hadn't said anything to me.

"You know you've gotten me into a lot of trouble. Do you know that?" He asked angrily, leaving me shocked.

"And what have I done? Is talking to you a crime?" I shot back as Craig sighed.

"People here, they don't understand me talking to you. They don't understand me and you. You're the other girl. The one that almost cost me Ashley." Craig explained.

"So? It takes two. And that was two years ago. Who cares about what we did when we were dumb kids?" I pouted. "Honestly, I just need a friend right now. Everyone hates me and--"

"Look, Ashley's supposed to meet me here uh … soon. I can't talk to you, not in public like this anyway." He brushed me off, turning his back to me.

"Hear me out Craig." I begged.

"I really wish I could, but I can't. Please just go."

Manny walked away dejectedly. She had an inkling that something like this would happen. Manny just couldn't believe that she admitted that she still loved Craig _to _Craig and that he was still treating her like this. Like nothing.

Heather Sinclair

"And Hazel totally slept with him." I repeated for like the millionth time this year. I was always so sick of Hazel being so perfect and doing everything right all the time. I just lucked out, finding out what she did from the source. I smiled to myself as I walked past Manny Santos. "Looks like you're no longer the school tramp."

"What do you mean? I'm not a tramp." She argued back.

"Save it. You're, how would you said it … old news. Hazel's just as easy." I proclaimed, walking on. Now it was going to be just me and Paige, like it had always been. I would actually be a person rather than just being the one that Paige always told stories about. I would be able to be … one of the most popular girls in school again.

"But Hazel's a virgin." Manny shot back, fully interested.

"Not anymore. You've been bumped down to Vice President of club slut."

Hazel

"Heather." I began, noticing that she was talking to Manny Santos. Weird. "I heard that you've been talking shit. Did you think I wouldn't hear it?"

"Actually, I was hoping you would. I good rumor always makes it back to the person it's about." Heather smiled as if she knew something I did not.

"You know what this means." I began, ready to rip her hair out. I couldn't believe that she would do something do devious.

"No. You have no power. What do you _think _you're going to do?" Heather asked, amused.

"I'm taking you out." I pushed Heather against the lockers without any hesitation.

"Oh. I'm so scared. Please, spare me." She replied sarcastically, not threatened by me at all.

"Fine." I slapped her in the face, ready to get another hit in before I felt to small hands pull me back.

"She's not worth it." Manny explained as I shrugged her off.

"I don't need your help." I was breathing heavily, but still ready to finish what I had started. "And she's been talking shit about me."

"But is it true?" Manny wondered as I looked away. For some reason, I just couldn't lie to her, or anyone. I hated how honest I was at times. "Let her go." Manny continued to hold me back as Heather stopped in front of us.

"Ooh. Looks like the princess and queen of sluts have finally met each other."

"Let go of me." I growled as Heather disappeared into the distance and Manny honored my request. "What were you thinking?" I wondered, looking at how she was dressed … like she was ready to kill someone with a hood on, a style reminiscent of Alex. I shook my head.

Manuela aka Alicia

"So, why did you stand up for me like that? What does it matter if I get suspended or not?" Hazel wondered.

"Heather is so not worth getting your permanent record ruined." I began "Plus, we can always get her after school." I laughed. "She's such a bitch and someone needs to kick her ass."

"No. The moment has passed now." Hazel dusted herself off. "I can't believe this disaster."

"So why did you do it?" I wondered boldly.

"That's none of your business."

"If I could do it all over again, I would've waited. I thought I loved Craig but it all completely backfired and I got stuck with the bad rep." I blurted out, happy to have someone's attention. "But now, I've changed. I'm not naïve like that."

"Look, just because everything thinks we're both whores doesn't mean that I'm your friend. I still don't agree with what you did to Ash, or Paige …"

"For someone who's so loyal to the stuck-up princesses of the school, you sure are walking around without any friends. Where are they now Hazel?"

Jimmy

"I have got to find a way to make it up to her." I told Craig, scouring for her in the hallways. I hated how she seemed to know every hiding place in the school and I could never find her when I really needed to, like now.

'Trust me man, she doesn't want to hear it." Craig gave unwanted advice.

"But look how Manny keeps coming back to you. She couldn't love you more than Hazel loves me." I protested.

"I don't know … Manny's around a lot, but it's so not like that. We have a lot in common and until Ashley can trust me, I'm willing to cut back the time I spend with her."

"But see man, our situations are different. I was thinking about making Hazel wifey, but now. She won't even talk to me." I sighed.

"You ruined her reputation Jimmy. You don't know how hard she worked on being Ms. Model … everything. And now, no one will take anything that she does seriously again." Paige butted in.

"Has she talked to you?"

Paige laughed. "I'm not talking to her. Only sluts hang out together and I've already been one of Degrassi's most talked about people. Hazel got herself into this mess." Paige shrugged.

"Paige, how can you be so cruel and heartless?" Craig spoke up.

"She's supposed to be your best friend, my girl."

"Things change." Paige shrugged again with Heather Sinclair chasing her through the hallway with her dark, shiny black hair flying in the distance.

THE NEXT DAY

Manny aka Alicia

"Hey. Manny!" Craig called as I walked past him, with Hazel. Somehow, I got her to listen to what I was saying and I was actually willing to help her regain her old reputation. For one, it was something to do and for two, I wouldn't have to think about Craig.

"So now you can talk to me?" I whipped around, lashing out all of my anger for him. "Isn't this too public."

"No, it isn't." Craig began as Jimmy started talking to Hazel.

Craig

"I thought about it and …" I began, looking down at Man—Alicia. I wouldn't be ever admit it to anyone, but there was definitely something that kept drawing me to her.

"And what? We can have a low key friendship? You want to come around when it's just me and you and maybe Hazel now?" Alicia rolled her eyes. "I'm not interested." She began to walk away.

"Alicia. Please." I begged.

"Please what? I don't owe you anything so don't look like me like I do."

"I just want to try to make it up to you." I pleaded.

"So?"

"I want to be your friend." I whispered as Alicia smiled despite herself. Quickly biting her lips to hide her joy, she looked down.

"I don't know if we can do that, if you can handle it." She joked. "But, in case you want to come, my cousin is in town and you can come and hang out. He'll be glad to see someone that his age." Alicia added before walking off. "Are you coming?" She yelled back at Hazel.

"Yeah. This conversation was over minutes ago." Hazel tagged along, leaving Jimmy in the distance.

"What happened back there man?" I asked as he looked towards Hazel, more somber looking than yesterday. Jimmy held up the diamond bracelet he had given her when they first started dating, which said it all. He was having no luck.

Hazel

"Did you forgive Jimmy?" Manny asked as I walked to my old Corolla while Manny moved to the passenger seat.

"You invited him Manny?" I practically shouted as soon as I was in the car. "And who said you could ride with me?" She rolled her eyes in response.

"It's Alicia now." She began, placing her backpack in the backseat and closing the door. "Besides, I didn't know what else to say. He was looking like me like, he really wanted a second chance and I just couldn't say no. I'm sorry."

"You're just asking for a repeat of two years ago. You can't just give in because he looks at you intensely like you mean something because as soon as Ashley comes around, you're back to nothing. Jimmy did the same thing to me. He made it seem like I _meant_ something and then went and told the whole world about me." I complained, near tears forgetting that this was a girl I hated.

"But Hazel, I love him and when he looks at me like that, like I _am _beautiful." Her chin started quivering. "And I love him. I say that I wish that Craig wasn't my first, but I'm lying. I don't regret that, but how it happened and why. Right now, I just want him to see that I am a real person that cares for him and if the only way he can return half of my feelings for him is through friendship, then I'll take it. I can't say no." She spat out, remaining quiet the entire time.

I didn't even know why I was hanging out with this girl. She was the school slut. Alicia, Manny … whatever had openly been with Spinner _and _Craig, breaking up their relationships with her best friends. **Former **friends. She reminded herself. Like it or not, this Alicia character was probably the closet thing she had to a friend.

Craig

"So, I was thinking that we should put this song on our demo." I told Ashley, putting in a newer version of the song I wrote for her back when she thought I didn't love her.

"Cute Craig, real cute, but we already decided on these songs." Ashley pulled out our "revised" list, which Ashley really revised herself. I originally thought collaborating on songs would make our relationship stronger, but that was all we seemed to fight about. The one thing we both loved, music.

"Come on Ashley. It's _our _song. You used to love it." I pressed. I had worked really hard on revising it and adding more difficulty with the chord changes, but she still wasn't trying to listen to me.

"Yeah. Used to. Back in grade ten. We're about to go off into the big leagues Craig. Don't you want to make a huge splash into the music world?" Ashley asked idealistically.

"Yeah. Sure." I muttered, looking at my watch. I didn't know if Manny was at home yet, but I was seriously thinking about checking out this thing they were having a her house. Hazel was probably going to be there, so nothing was going to happen.


	3. Nothing Mattered

Chapter Three: Nothing Mattered

Alicia

"Hey, would you get that?" My cousin Carlos asked Hazel as I continued running around trying not to get sprayed with anymore water. I loved times like these. They reminded me of my childhood before my parents split and everything got so crazy.

"I've got you now!" My uncle yelled, throwing a bucket of water on me as a screamed. "Sorry." He apologized, which was completely unlike him.

"You have a guest." Hazel came up to me as I turned around to see Craig. He always snuck up on me like that.

"Hey, you." I looked at him, my eyes smiling. He was just as soaked as I was. "Served you right for trying to sneak up on me." I walked into the house as Craig followed. "Want something to drink?"

"No."

"Something to eat?" I tried again.

"I'm okay."

"Then, why are you here? This is supposed to be a party." I grabbed a strawberry crystal light out of the refrigerator for me and handed one to Craig anyway.

"I don't know. C-Can we just … talk?" He wondered as I nodded.

"There are a ton of people, so the only quiet place is in my room. You don't mind do you?" I wondered, not really thinking straight.

"Yeah." Craig took a sip of his crystal light nervously.

"So, why did you change your mind? Having problems with Ashley?"

"No." Craig answered a little too quickly. "I love Ash. It's just that we're trying to get this demo together and she doesn't want to listen to anything I have to say. She might as well go solo because it's all about her."

"Wow." I bit my lip. "You guys do have issues."

"No. It's not like that. I just wanted to get away from the stress of … that." He admitted.

"And bring some stress into my life. Thanks." I smiled fakely. "You can sit on my bed. I don't care."

"But I'm wet." He protested.

"Do you see anywhere else to sit?" I asked. "The floor's always available."

"Hold on." Craig stood up, regretfully taking a call.

Jimmy

"Hello?" I heard Hazel's voice on the other line. She sounded really … together.

"Hazel." I whispered. "I love you."

"But not enough to keep what was sacred between us between us." Hazel was instantly annoyed.

"Where are you? I want to see you."

"I don't want to see you. Give me time." Hazel sounded really vulnerable and sad, not how I wanted to make her feel. I had done this to her.

"Is there anything I can do?" I begged.

"Just stop calling … please." The dial tone followed as I decided to call up Craig for some advice. He had _cheated_ on Ashley and gotten her back and they were better than ever. He picked up his phone on the first ring and we made a flawless plan to make her understand that I loved her. Hopefully, Hazel would have a change of heart, and soon.

Craig

"So, umm … why did you leave and why did you come back? I heard about your mom and your step dad." I began.

"That is not a story you want to know. Trust me. I don't even want to know about it." Alicia sighed. "In short, my mom and dad got divorced and she tried to get me back." I closed my eyes, exhaling deeply. "I really…"

"It's okay." Craig lightly stroked my back as I stood up suddenly.

"So, you're bipolar?"

"You're mom's schizophrenic?" He shot back.

"She was a druggie and all her years of addiction backfired. But when she came back and tried to be a mom for once, I couldn't not help her. So here I am."

Manny aka Alicia

"Look, I can't stand anymore of this mushy gush out for feelings thing. I'm going to get out of these clothes." I pulled off my mini jacket as Craig started to squirm. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. It's just that this is a completely non-platonic situation." He explained.

"The door is open Craig. What more do you want? Normal people get changed in their rooms." I rolled my eyes. "You want a heart to heart? You know the reason why I just can't say screw you and forget you ever existed?" I paused taking in a deep breath.

"When I see you, I see what I want for myself. You have like all the … qualities that I want in a boyfriend, but I know it's not going to work because you screwed me over." I practically yelled. "I should throw you out on your soaking wet ass right now, but I can't do that." I sat down, disappointed in myself. "I even came back with this badass attitude at Degrassi and nothing's changed. When I see you … you know what, forget it."

"I want to hear what you have to say." Craig stopped me as if he were flattered.

"You know you and I can't just be friends." I began, wanting to _feel _like someone cared about me again.

"That's all I can g--" I cut him off with a kiss. "Manny." He began to protest.

"Alicia." I kissed him again. "Just … don't say anything. It won't be serious and I won't get attached. Not like last time." I continued kissing Craig as he stopped resisting and started giving in, like he used to. "It'll just be like … friends with benefits." He nodded and I wasn't sure if he was listening or anything.

JT

"So, what are you thinking about?" Liberty asked, turning towards me in my mom's hammock.

"You." I lied. I had learned a long time ago, that that was the only correct answer. If I told Liberty that I was feeling really bad about how we were treating Manny, she would throw a fit and accuse me of liking her again.

"So, what do you think about that choreography project Kwan assigned us? Crazy huh? I guess since Dracula was such a hit, we're going to be directing all of Degrassi's future performing arts shows."

"Uh-huh." I nodded, remembering how sad Manny seemed. She was trying to play it cool by using her supermodel 'Alicia' name and image, but all of her friends could see right through it, and she was hurting.

"Are you even listening?' Liberty chimed in again, ruining my thoughts again. I never knew that one person could talk so much.

"I am but, don't you ever feel bad about not being friends with Emma and Manny anymore? It's weird without them."

"No, I don't and you shouldn't either. Emma is a liar and a backstabber, and Manny's changed too much." Liberty held onto me tighter when she mentioned Manny.

"She's not trying to steal me away or anything. I just think we should help her."

"And befriend Emma in the process. That's too much good for me." Liberty sat up. "I think this night is officially killed."

"What? Liberty, come on." I shook my head as she started to pick up her bookbag.

"We haven't accomplished anything anyway."

Craig

"No. Wait." Alicia protested, lightly pushing me off of her. "This isn't right."

"Says who?" I resumed kissing her, nibbling on her stomach. She was so beautiful, and vulnerable, and real which made me want her even more.

"Look, this is wrong. I need to check on my mother, Hazel's down there, and I just can't do this." She sat up, holding the sheets close to her.

"Fine." I growled angrily. She lured me into her room and waited until things got hot and heavy to set him down.

"Craig, don't be mad." She begged. "Just understand where I'm coming from." I slipped on my boxers as Manny walked over to her dresser, with her back still turned to me.

"How can I not be? I thought we were doing the friends with benefits thing."

"But then I thought about Ashley and what I did to her. I respect Ashley. I don't want to ruin your relationship." Alicia explained, fully clothed now.

"But you're not. We're in high school and we're both going off to college this year. I don't want things to get too serious. You know what I mean? I don't want to have to lose her when I go to the states." Craig sighed.

"So, you're pushing her away? Smart move." Alicia shook her head. "Guys are really more clueless than I thought."

"But, it's not like I don't love her--"

"I get that, but why are you here with me?" Alicia questioned, interested as I started to put his wet clothing back on. "Why do you keep coming back?"

"That's what I keep asking myself." I cupped her face, kissing her tenderly.

"My cousin has some … some clothes. I'll get them and …" I tried to kiss her again, but she backed away. "I need to go see my mom."

"I'll come with you." I offered as she reluctantly led me into a room where her mother lay strapped in one of the straightjackets to her bed. I pulled back a little as Manny shook her head at me in disbelief.

"I thought you would understand, but no one gets it." I watched Manny stroke her mother's hair and whisper some things to her, as if trying to get her to calm down before giving her some medication. "Why don't you just go?" She wondered, as her mother calmed down and Manny removed the straightjacket. "Your sisters are here mom, don't you want to see them?" She carefully led her mother out of the room, not even acknowledging my presence anymore.

"Manny!" I called as she paused and turned around.

"If you can't handle being around my mom, then you can't handle any type of relationship with me."

**(A/N: Can I get some type of response? I know people have been visiting the links to my story, so review and show some type of respect and gratitude. Reviews and feedback will make me a better writer, thus making the story more interesting … make sure to tell me what you want to see happen … who you want to hear about!—NL) **


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